Summer

It's been a long time.  I've been quiet...I know.  Summer disappeared.  I can't believe it's mid-September already.  I have had so many thoughts the last 2+ months about blogging, but obviously didn't get around to it.  I love to write and share my heart.  I've missed it.

I'm not sure where the summer went.  It's not like we had a plethora of trips planned.  We went beach camping at the beginning of June and to Phoenix for my grandma's 91st birthday in August, but other than that we were home. 

So what exactly did we do all summer?  I'm not really sure. 

I totally biffed it on my promise to take the kids to the beach more ~ again.  Next year maybe?  Doubtful since I can't stand the beach.  So glad I have friends who go that invite my kids.

My summer memories are of exhaustion and nausea - daily afternoon naps that could in no way be avoided.  Then again what else did I expect during the first weeks of pregnancy, right?  And since I'm so very old now, I had lots of added appointments and tests and ultrasounds to keep me busy.

I did a neat Bible study with some friends.  We had our couples Dgroup that ran through summer.  Jaylon did lots with youth group (I forgot...he got to go to the beach with them a few times!).  My girls did a wonderful ballet camp.  We had play dates here and there.  We attended three weddings within eight days. 

Now here we are full force into the school year.  Jaylon is in high school and Emmie started kindergarten so I have lots of new territory.  It's busy and overwhelming and wonderful.

We are having a little GIRL.  Of course I swore we wouldn't find out the gender, but for cryin' out loud I just don't have the will power to stare at the screen for an hour and not know.  So the score is even now.  We have no name...can't agree on anything.  Typical.

We are so blessed and continue to be amazed at God's grace everyday.  Love to all of you. 

Growing ~ growing

Our family is growing, again. 

Yep, that's right, we are expecting numero six in January.

We are so excited!!  Of course the boys are hoping it's a boy and the girls are wishing for a girl.  Would it be any other way?

Due date is January 29.  I've been feeling extremely tired (go figure) and that lovely constant feeling of nausea is with me most days.  My smeller is way heightened and my taste buds are in rebellion.  Something looks/sounds delicious one minute and two hours later the thought of it makes me want to vomit. 

And how fun today at the doctor when he reminded me that I am considered "advanced maternal age" now.  Thanks for that.  I can't say that I'm worried though.  God is knitting this little one together and has seen it's unformed substance already.  He knows it's name, birthday and gender.  How amazing.

For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.  Psalm 139:13

And to know this baby is only the size of a kidney bean, yet there on the screen I can actually see the heart beating!  Then he turned on volume and we listened to it beating.  I was in complete awe.  I have never seen, let alone heard, one of my baby's hearts beating that soon.  And then I recalled what the kids and I learned in science this year ~ that by now this baby already has the makings of it's circulatory system, central nervous system, digestive system and liver.  Already!!

Well, for those that have known me a long time, I did always say that I wanted six.

P.S.  No, we did not win the lottery.  Yes, we know how this happens.  No, we are not crazy.  Yes, it was planned.  Love you all, even if you do think we are nuts! :-)

Just Keepin' It Real

My post from yesterday is still at the forefront of my mind.  I am weak.  I need Strength!  I have tried for so long to do things my way, on my own and I have yet to succeed.  You'd think that maybe I would have figured this out before I was 36 years old, but here I am.  And these thoughts do not come from a place of condemnation, rather a needy and desperate heart wanting to understand and walk completely in the Light.

Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them out of the hand of the wicked  They do not know nor do they understand; they walk about in darkness.  Psalm 82:4-5

I need to be rescued.  Many things about my life have changed over the last few years, yet I have recognized an area in my life that I am still holding onto and trying to do my way!  Weakness.

Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.                      Matthew 26:41

My flesh is absolutely weak.  Of course this is evident in many areas of life for everyone, but one area that I have identified recently is in the area of my health/weight.  I am not a petite woman; never have been.  There were times when I weighed less and was more in shape.  It has been years.  I recognize now at 36 that I am unhealthy, lazy and allow my flesh to have total control over these areas of my life. 

I must draw upon strength from my Jesus if I am ever going to stop allowing food to control my thoughts, my life, really.  I must cry out to the Lord to help me overcome my laziness and get into an exercise routine.  I must plead with God to be my encouragement and motivation because nothing else has ever worked ~ and I have tried many, many times.

So as the verse says, I will keep watch and pray so that I will not fall to the temptations that so easily lure me in.  I will pray that I will not desire to eat off my childrens' plates.  I will pray that I will not take double the portion size just because it looks/smells so good...and realize that I do not need seconds.  I will keep watch and pray so that I do not buy the unhealthy foods that are my downfall.  I will pray that I will have self-control while cooking dinner to not take random bites from every dish as I'm preparing the meal.  I will pray that exercise and fitness become an integral part of my daily life, in turn eliminating my tendency toward laziness.  I will pray that my habits will change and that I will have the motivation to ensure that change.

My flesh is weak.  Weaknesses abound in my life, but I am so thankful that I do have someone who understands, who is always with me, who knows every thought I have (even the thoughts I wouldn't dare admit to any other person on this planet).  So I move forward in faith and prayer, trusting that the strength of the Lord will combat the weakness of my sinful flesh. 

Pray for me?  (That is if anyone even reads these posts...I wonder sometimes, but hey, I share what's on my heart and what I feel the Lord is prompting me to write.)

Weaknesses

We all have them ~ weaknesses.  Some are more identifiable than others.  Some do a fabulous job at hiding theirs.  But we all struggle with weaknesses.

It is so natural to want everyone to think we have it all together; for others to think we are strong.  It is easier to pretend like it's all good, rather than to be transparent and vulnerable by admitting weakness. 

We have thorns in our lives.  It would be ideal if God would remove them, but instead He makes available His grace.  I am a weakling; I've got thorns.  But thankfully I also have a God who extends His grace to me and in turn His grace can be evident in my life.

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.       2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I can't say that I boast about my weaknesses and feel content with insults and difficulties, but Paul sure does encourage me in these verses.  He reminds me to remain aware of my weaknesses and rely on God as I battle them.  Then, and only then, will I be able to experience His amazing grace and put His power on display.

Mother's Day

I don't think I will ever forget this Mother's Day. 

Sure, we were in Lake Arrowhead, enjoying the beauty of God's creation and time with my mom and Ted, but not for those reasons.  And not because I had two, yes two, dates with my husband (no kids)!!  Not even for the fact that half the time it was freezing, rainy and windy...my favorite weather.

I will never forget this Mother's Day because of the card given to me by my son.  It read this way:

Mom,
the older I get, the more I realize how much it means to me to be your son...
You've given me values to live by and the responsibility to make decisions on my own.
You've shown me in many ways what makes a truly rewarding life -
like earning the respect of others and putting family first.
I'm glad that I'm you son...
and I'll always be proud that you're my mom.
Have a very Happy Mother's Day.


Words cannot begin to express the emotions I felt as I read this card from Jaylon.  Of course I cried...I actually had to force myself to stay somewhat composed and not break down and sob.  Many of you know the struggles Jaylon and I have had over the years.  Many of you have prayed for me, for him, for our relationship.  Thank you.

By God's grace, and His grace alone, Jaylon had the desire to pick his own card out for me and chose this exact one with a message that touched my heart more than he will ever know. 

Thank you Lord for being faithful.  Thank you Lord for softening my heart towards Jaylon and for carrying me through many difficult days and years.  Thank you Lord for the grace and mercy You have shown me as I navigated through the past 13 years trying to be a mother to Jaylon.  All the glory goes to God.  Anything I ever did right was because of Him.  And there was so much wrong that He has graciously righted and used for good.

God is good, so very good.  I am truly blessed.  I will never forget this Mother's Day...this card.

Times Have Changed

Back in the day, I was very particular about certain things.  When I had my first baby, I made everyone wash their hands before they held him.  My bed had to be made every single day.  Dishes were never left in the sink over night.  My childrens' outfits always matched.  Their hands and faces were clean.  The five second rule kind of grossed me out (so many germs on the floor).  The laundry was always put away neatly.  My children were bathed every night, with fresh PJ's on and brushed teeth.  The babies always sat in a high chair and most certainly had a bib on. 

Times sure have changed! 

 Some days they stay in their PJ's until after lunch and watch a lot of TV. 

Some days they wear the exact same thing as the day before, which was also what they slept in!

Sometimes he'll just wear his rain coat inside for hours on end and I don't have the energy to "argue" about it.

Typically, every room in the house looks like this...crap everywhere, toys spread out - nothing picked up.

And most nights, the kitchen counter is covered with dirty dishes.  And it is a rare sight to see my bed made.

With the fifth child, there are nights when you might catch him in the backyard, all alone, in only his diaper, riding a scooter ~ well past his bed time!!

Or days when he may be caught playing in rain puddles or mud in his PJ's...and not get a bath until later.

And more often than not, the outfits may or may not match.  It is highly likely that one or more children may leave the house with plaid shorts and a striped t-shirt...or looking like Punky Brewster.

There is no use of the bib for this kid, although it does drape nicely over the back of his high chair. 

His face does get cleaned after a meal, but other than that I can't guarantee anything.  And the five second rule has turned into the 30 second rule - wouldn't want to waste anything, would we?

I have five children now...who has time to be anal?!?!

Everyone Needs a Break Sometimes

Motherhood is wonderful.  I love it.  I wouldn't change anything about it.  I would have more children (shocking to many, I know!).  Of course it's hard and exhausting and constantly growing and stretching me, but it brings me such joy and fulfillment.  I truly am blessed.

All that being said...sometimes I just need a break. 

If you are a mother, you can relate.  There are just times when a short period of respite is needed.  This is the dictionary definition of respite - to relieve temporarily, especially from anything distressing or trying; give an interval of relief from.

An interval of relief from...yes, that is exactly what I feel I need sometimes.  And it's OK.  And it's normal.  And it's wise for me to get this relief so as to avoid any permanent harm to my lovely children.

So sometimes I stay in the shower much longer than needed just to enjoy the time to myself.  And sometimes it requires me plugging my ears to experience peace in the shower.

In those rare occasions that I am in the car alone, sometimes I will decide to take the long way home.

And usually when I'm in the car alone, I have the radio OFF.  Total silence is so appealing to me.

If I can pull off going to the grocery store all by myself, then I purposely go up and down every single aisle just to prolong the solitude.

There are times when I actually covet my husband's lengthy commutes because I think it sounds wonderful to spend 2-3 hours in a car all by myself. 

When I show up for a dentist appointment and she is behind schedule, I'm totally content with that because it allows me to sit and relax a bit longer.  Or I'm thankful there is a long line at the bank because I can just chill while I wait.

My husband can attest that there are times when I beg and plead for him to take the kids with him...even if it's just to fill up the gas tank, or return a movie.  Anything for ten minutes of peace and quiet.

I realize that I'm with my children more because I home school, but I know other mommas can relate because your children have Christmas break, Spring break and summer break! 

Motherhood is demanding.  Our job is not 8 hours a day, five days a week.  We work 24/7.  Our duties include (but are certainly not limited to) comforter, cook, maid, alarm clock, chauffeur, photographer,   nanny, nurse, teacher, handyman, counselor, ATM, security officer and jungle gym.  We don't get sick days, holidays, or paid time off.  We are always working.

I love it.

But everyone needs a break sometimes. 

I Need These Reminders

I have this list on my refrigerator so that I can look at it often.  I need to be reminded of these things several times a day as I attempt to discipline and train my children in a manner pleasing to the Lord.

1. You disobey the Lord and He is the perfect Father.

He is patient, loving, forgiving, compassionate, gentle, kind and self-controlled toward me when I disobey Him.  He does not scream at me, lecture me, hold a grudge, lose his temper, say harsh things, or withhold love as I so often tend to do with my own children.

2. His kindness leads us to repentance.

I desire to repent of my disobedience because He is patient, loving, forgiving, compassionate, gentle, kind and self-controlled towards me.  So in my parenting, I must model His parenting so that my children will desire repentance and understand why it is necessary.  And I must keep in mind that harshness and dictatorship is not going to encourage my children to admit and accept their sin, or to repent.

3. God disciplines those He loves.

There are consequences for my actions and my sin, so I can expect that my loving Father will discipline me because He loves me.  In this same way, I discipline my children because I love them and want to teach them right from wrong.  This can be a struggle for me because it's much easier for me to overlook rather then take the time to discipline, correct, explain and reconcile.

4. Your child's disobedience does not measure your value any more than their obedience showcases your achievement.

My children will never be perfect (and sadly I seem to forget this at times because it's like I expect perfection).  They will disobey and this does not define me as a mother.  On the flip side, when they do obey it does not mean that I've got it all figured out.  It is all by the grace of God.

5. Your child's disobedience teaches you dependence on God.

There is nothing else in my life that requires as much dependence on God as parenting does.  It is a daily battle, sometimes an hour by hour battle, and I just can't do it in my own strength...especially not in a God-glorifying way.  As any mother can attest, it is exhausting (and I don't just mean physically!!).

6. And sometimes it's more than dependence He's after; it's complete desperation for Him.

"Complete desperation" is a much better description of the way I function as a mother each day rather than just "dependence on."  I do depend on Him, but in a completely desperate way.  How else could I make it through each day?

7. Your child is clearly a sinner, and needs to hear the truth of the Gospel, and see it lived out through you.

The "lived out through you" phrase is what I am constantly reminding myself of!  There are five pairs of eyes that are constantly watching me and my actions are what communicate a message to them more than any words I can ever say.

8. Times of correction serve to remind, or establish within your child, his own sense of need for a Savior.

We are all sinners.  We all fall short.  We all need a Savior.

9. It's not good behavior you really desire...you want their heart.

We didn't understand this for many years.  The hearts of our children weren't really our focus, it was the outward stuff we were after I think.  I am thankful that our perspective has changed and that we understand how important it is to have their hearts and not just compliant children that fear us.

10. Your child is a person, not a project.

Ouch.  That's what I think when I read this...probably because I was treating my children like my projects for so many years.  I wanted them to make me look good.  I didn't like it when they disrupted my routine, or stability, or agenda.  But they are people ~ with souls.  My deepest desire is for them to know Jesus and fall in love with Him and be sold out for Him.  I want them to spend eternity with Him.

No Ordinary Day

Today seemed like it was going to be uneventful; just an ordinary day.  I was wrong. 

It was one of those days as a mother that pushed me to my limits and tested me over and over again. 

It was one of those rare days where there was an issue with every child ~ one pouting about chores, one whining about not getting her way, another arguing about every darn thing and yet another challenging me on every rule in place, and who can forget the toddler that is approaching two.  And this was all within the first two hours...these types of things just kept happening...all...day...long.

My patience was tested.

My nerves were fried.

My buttons were pushed.

Yet as I sit here in the late night hours with a completely quiet house and reflect on this challenging day, I am thankful.  I survived.  We made it through.  All children are still living.  And I love being a mommy, bottom line.

I didn't handle things perfectly.  I lost my temper.  I was insensitive.  I argued back.  I was unfair.  I ignored and withheld eye contact. 

But I know tomorrow is a new day; a fresh start.  And for that I am thankful because all seven of us living under this roof need a fresh start each morning.  So I go to bed knowing that I must wake up with a positive outlook and ready to extend grace to my children and to myself, regardless of how agitated I felt today or how frustrated I feel tonight.

For the sole reason that my God does this very same thing for me each and every morning. 

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
    Lamentations 3:22-23

For Better or Worse

It was 11 years ago today that we said "I Do".

By the grace of God, His mercy on us and His love for us, we have remained together all these years.  Through good times and bad...through amazing times and completely horrific and awful times...we have stayed the course.

We still have the same arguments.  We still struggle with the same sin.  We still battle the same idols in our lives.  We still have the same quirks and pet peeves. 

Now, we have a teenage boy, a preteen boy, two highly-emotional and sassy girls and one almost terrible two-er.  So I imagine we're in for plenty of new experiences this next year of marriage.

But thankfully our faith continues to grow.  Our personal relationships with the Lord are deepening and being strengthened, which in turn is affecting our marriage relationship in ways we never thought possible.  For that I am grateful.  We are blessed beyond measure.

"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories."  George Eliot

...but now am found

Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.    Acts 3:19

I am beginning to understand what born again means.  It always seemed like such a cliche to me, but I get it now.  I do feel born again.  My heart has changed.  My desires have changed.  In no way am I saying that I am perfect, far from actually - I still have the same bad habits and struggle with the same old sin - the difference is that now it affects me in another way.  It grieves me.  I long to be changed and break the cycle. 

I am thankful for the transformation that has been happening in my heart.  I am learning to celebrate my intimate relationship with Jesus and what it looks like to walk consistently with Him.  That was lacking in my life.  He is worthy of total surrender and I didn't believe or understand that before. 

"We are saved from our sins by a free gift of grace, something that only God can do in us and that we cannot manufacture ourselves.  But that gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart.  New desires.  New longings.  For the first time, we want God.  We see our need for Him, and we love Him.  We seek after Him, and we find Him, and we discover that He is indeed the great reward of our salvation.  We realize that we are saved not just to be forgiven of our sins or to be assured of our eternity in heaven, but we are saved to know God.  So we yearn for Him.  We want Him so much that we abandon everything else to experience Him."
(quoted from Radical by David Platt, page 39)

Being refreshed by Jesus, being able to return to Him...there is nothing that compares.

I Once Was Lost...

The term lukewarm Christian was not descriptive of my life as a Christian...or so I thought.

I was raised in a Christian home.  I went to church (Sunday school and youth group) and actually my mom worked for the senior pastor, so we spent a lot of time at and in church.  I sang in the choir.  I memorized the books of the Bible and attended Christian concerts.  I even went on two mission trips to Haiti as a teenager. 

During my college years and early twenties I was distant from God and totally living life for myself, but I still referred to myself as a Christian. 

Once I got married and began having children I made a conscious effort to get myself back on track with God...or so I thought.
                                                                                                                                                                                            I would sporadically attend church, all the while listening to the sermons and thinking of how applicable they were to other people.  My Bible reading consisted of one or two verses on the sermon notes, or an occasional forwarded email.  I didn't even take my Bible to church on Sundays.  I rarely sang the worship songs at church because they made me too emotional.  I would tell people that I'd pray for them, but never get around to it.  I would proclaim that God was in control when others were struggling, but didn't live my own life as if that was Truth.

I was not walking the walk.  I ineffectively attempted to talk the talk.  My marriage and family was suffering.  My language and habits reflected this.  I had too many balls in the air.  Life was too busy and I was being stubborn and selfish trying to maintain control of it all.  I was constantly discouraged in my weakness and sin, but was so comfortable that I wasn't motivated to change.  I was not making Jesus the Lord of my life.  I did not aim to please Him in all things. 

In reality what I was doing was altering Christianity to how I wanted it to look.  I was taking Jesus and the gospel and tweaking it so I was more comfortable in my faith.  It was all about me.  My values and ideas were tainted by the world and our culture.  In many areas of my life there was a lot of gray. 

Thankfully, a few years ago, the Lord began to draw me back to Him.  He began to work on my heart.

Over the last few months my eyes have really been opened to a deeper understanding of what it means to truly be a Christian, to follow Christ, to live my life centered around the gospel. 

I was a lukewarm Christian for most of my life.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.  So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.     Revelation 3:15-16

Thirty-six

It's funny how as you get older birthdays don't carry the same weight or excitement as they once did. Turning thirty-six today doesn't really feel like anything. Today was pretty much the same as most others, other than extra phone calls and texts for birthday wishes from those near and dear to me.

It started with a co-sleeping baby boy waking me up to nurse, at which point I realized that I still had a stuffy nose and sore throat from the bug I caught from my precious darlings. Then it progressed to a little girl begging for cereal. And then onto siblings arguing and provoking each other. Mixed in with the normal morning routine were lots of birthday wishes, kisses, hugs, beautiful cards and wonderful gifts. Then it was the usual rush to get out the door and be on time for Bible study.

The day is almost over and there were no balloons or streamers, no loud singing or big party - nothing like when I was 9 and spent days looking forward to the slumber party with my friends.

Today was much more than that.

To enjoy time with my husband who worked from home today so he could be here when I woke up. To treasure my children even though they may leave their clothes all over the floor. To comfort my fussy baby who is teething. To hear from family members whom I love and dear friends that mean so much to me.

This day, my thirty-sixth birthday, was a day to celebrate the life that God has given to me. What more could I ask for?

Parenting

Most parents have heard the statement, "Children don't come with instruction manuals." Well, I for one, sure wish they did!

The Bible contains everything I need to be the parent God calls me to be. I just haven't accessed it or relied on it as I should have been all this time.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. Proverbs 23:13-14


Save their souls from death...that is a powerful thought. As a mother, I have a huge responsibility according to this verse! It caused me to question my motives for discipline and correction.


Do I discipline out of anger and lack of patience, or because I want to raise them to please God and bring them to the feet of Jesus? Do I correct them out of embarrassment and annoyance, or because I want to bring them into a submissive relationship with the Lord? Do I discipline out of my need/desire for control, or to encourage them to be obedient disciples of God?

I'll be honest, more often than not, I discipline out of anger. I frequently lose my patience and feel annoyed by my children. I am inconsistent. I do not require instant obedience. I let too much slide. It is not uncommon for un-encouraging words to fly out of my mouth, even a choice curse word now and then. This is not discipline or correction, this is punishment.


Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18


Discipline is a result of love and offers hope. Punishment offers no hope to my children. I only have so many years to impact them and gain their hearts. I want that impact to be positive and have eternal benefits!!


Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6


I never thought about the fact that if my children receive no discipline, or even inconsistent discipline, when they grow up they will struggle with disciplining themselves as adults. They will struggle with submitting to authority and ultimately with submission to God.


He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24


I must never forget that my children (as precious and adorable as they may be) are sinners from the very start, exactly like me. Just because we are raising them in a loving, Christian home does not guarantee anything.


Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15


Each one of my children are gifts from God. I am a steward of them and I only have authority over them because God has given them to me. I must submit to His authority when it comes to raising my children.


Sons are a heritage from the Lord; children a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3


Thankfully I serve a God of grace and mercy because I've had it wrong all these years. I allow my emotions to control me. I lash out at them. I nag and provoke. I am inconsistent. Honestly, I can be a bit of a tyrant sometimes. That is not Biblical discipline.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Biblical parenting is hard work. It takes effort. It causes me to be on my knees more than anything else. And the way I pray for my children has changed. I must set a different example. Error and failure are guaranteed, but that will allow me plenty of opportunities to model repentance to my children - apologize when I'm wrong and ask forgiveness. I must stop being a hypocrite and expecting my children to "do as I say, not as I do."

This is the book that transformed my understanding of Biblical parenting. It contains much truth and was a wake-up call for me as a Christian parent!

It's been awhile...

January is gone, literally. I had so many great intentions of writing and never got to it. Here are a few pictures from the last several weeks.

A ping pong table now occupies our garage thanks to Grandma Dedee and Grandpa Ted!

Aaron "playing" in one of his most favorite places - the floor of the pantry (so much to get into).

Watch out Peyton Manning! Aaron is serious about his football. He's got a great arm.

Gracie girl posing up in Lake Arrowhead.

Aaron with his two motherly...oops, I mean older sisters.

My big 19 month old boy, lots of teeth, posing for the camera.

Brendan with his blue belt.

Emmie learned to ride a bike randomly, on her own, with the help of her siblings. Never used training wheels. Go figure. She's independent - who needs training wheels or help from a parent?

A New Year

The start of a new year is always such a time of reflection. An exciting chance for a fresh start. I saw on TV last night a list of the top five resolutions for 2011. Nothing surprising, very typical resolutions...get organized, have fun, get fit, etc. I had to laugh because those things sound great and I resolve many times throughout each and every year to do those things! But as this new year has approached, I've given a lot of thought to what I truly want to change in my life. I thought of three verses that really summed up the goals and desires I have for this new year.

Make me know Your ways O Lord, teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:4-5

I want to continue to grow closer to God. I long to know Him better, learn more about His Word and how I am called to live out my life as a wife, mother, friend and sister in Christ. I want to understand more clearly what it truly means to be a Christian and avoid the trap of redefining Christianity so that it is comfortable for me.

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1 John 2:15

I want to keep my focus on things that are eternally important. I don't want to get caught up in the things of this world and the love and comfort of my sin. I want to live each day to glorify God and disciple and train my children, not worrying about materialistic things, or my appearance, or what everyone else may or may not be doing. And most importantly, I do not want to fear what others will think.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1:2-3

This is a hard one, but I want to shift my way of thinking so that when I do face the trials that are guaranteed to come, I will view them as an opportunity to seek the Lord more and grow in my faith and apply what I am learning and trust that God has allowed the trial to not only refine me, but to bring Him glory.

Happy New Year!