For Better or Worse

It was 11 years ago today that we said "I Do".

By the grace of God, His mercy on us and His love for us, we have remained together all these years.  Through good times and bad...through amazing times and completely horrific and awful times...we have stayed the course.

We still have the same arguments.  We still struggle with the same sin.  We still battle the same idols in our lives.  We still have the same quirks and pet peeves. 

Now, we have a teenage boy, a preteen boy, two highly-emotional and sassy girls and one almost terrible two-er.  So I imagine we're in for plenty of new experiences this next year of marriage.

But thankfully our faith continues to grow.  Our personal relationships with the Lord are deepening and being strengthened, which in turn is affecting our marriage relationship in ways we never thought possible.  For that I am grateful.  We are blessed beyond measure.

"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories."  George Eliot

...but now am found

Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.    Acts 3:19

I am beginning to understand what born again means.  It always seemed like such a cliche to me, but I get it now.  I do feel born again.  My heart has changed.  My desires have changed.  In no way am I saying that I am perfect, far from actually - I still have the same bad habits and struggle with the same old sin - the difference is that now it affects me in another way.  It grieves me.  I long to be changed and break the cycle. 

I am thankful for the transformation that has been happening in my heart.  I am learning to celebrate my intimate relationship with Jesus and what it looks like to walk consistently with Him.  That was lacking in my life.  He is worthy of total surrender and I didn't believe or understand that before. 

"We are saved from our sins by a free gift of grace, something that only God can do in us and that we cannot manufacture ourselves.  But that gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart.  New desires.  New longings.  For the first time, we want God.  We see our need for Him, and we love Him.  We seek after Him, and we find Him, and we discover that He is indeed the great reward of our salvation.  We realize that we are saved not just to be forgiven of our sins or to be assured of our eternity in heaven, but we are saved to know God.  So we yearn for Him.  We want Him so much that we abandon everything else to experience Him."
(quoted from Radical by David Platt, page 39)

Being refreshed by Jesus, being able to return to Him...there is nothing that compares.