My post from yesterday is still at the forefront of my mind. I am weak. I need Strength! I have tried for so long to do things my way, on my own and I have yet to succeed. You'd think that maybe I would have figured this out before I was 36 years old, but here I am. And these thoughts do not come from a place of condemnation, rather a needy and desperate heart wanting to understand and walk completely in the Light.
Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them out of the hand of the wicked They do not know nor do they understand; they walk about in darkness. Psalm 82:4-5
I need to be rescued. Many things about my life have changed over the last few years, yet I have recognized an area in my life that I am still holding onto and trying to do my way! Weakness.
Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41
My flesh is absolutely weak. Of course this is evident in many areas of life for everyone, but one area that I have identified recently is in the area of my health/weight. I am not a petite woman; never have been. There were times when I weighed less and was more in shape. It has been years. I recognize now at 36 that I am unhealthy, lazy and allow my flesh to have total control over these areas of my life.
I must draw upon strength from my Jesus if I am ever going to stop allowing food to control my thoughts, my life, really. I must cry out to the Lord to help me overcome my laziness and get into an exercise routine. I must plead with God to be my encouragement and motivation because nothing else has ever worked ~ and I have tried many, many times.
So as the verse says, I will keep watch and pray so that I will not fall to the temptations that so easily lure me in. I will pray that I will not desire to eat off my childrens' plates. I will pray that I will not take double the portion size just because it looks/smells so good...and realize that I do not need seconds. I will keep watch and pray so that I do not buy the unhealthy foods that are my downfall. I will pray that I will have self-control while cooking dinner to not take random bites from every dish as I'm preparing the meal. I will pray that exercise and fitness become an integral part of my daily life, in turn eliminating my tendency toward laziness. I will pray that my habits will change and that I will have the motivation to ensure that change.
My flesh is weak. Weaknesses abound in my life, but I am so thankful that I do have someone who understands, who is always with me, who knows every thought I have (even the thoughts I wouldn't dare admit to any other person on this planet). So I move forward in faith and prayer, trusting that the strength of the Lord will combat the weakness of my sinful flesh.
Pray for me? (That is if anyone even reads these posts...I wonder sometimes, but hey, I share what's on my heart and what I feel the Lord is prompting me to write.)
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