Times Have Changed

Back in the day, I was very particular about certain things.  When I had my first baby, I made everyone wash their hands before they held him.  My bed had to be made every single day.  Dishes were never left in the sink over night.  My childrens' outfits always matched.  Their hands and faces were clean.  The five second rule kind of grossed me out (so many germs on the floor).  The laundry was always put away neatly.  My children were bathed every night, with fresh PJ's on and brushed teeth.  The babies always sat in a high chair and most certainly had a bib on. 

Times sure have changed! 

 Some days they stay in their PJ's until after lunch and watch a lot of TV. 

Some days they wear the exact same thing as the day before, which was also what they slept in!

Sometimes he'll just wear his rain coat inside for hours on end and I don't have the energy to "argue" about it.

Typically, every room in the house looks like this...crap everywhere, toys spread out - nothing picked up.

And most nights, the kitchen counter is covered with dirty dishes.  And it is a rare sight to see my bed made.

With the fifth child, there are nights when you might catch him in the backyard, all alone, in only his diaper, riding a scooter ~ well past his bed time!!

Or days when he may be caught playing in rain puddles or mud in his PJ's...and not get a bath until later.

And more often than not, the outfits may or may not match.  It is highly likely that one or more children may leave the house with plaid shorts and a striped t-shirt...or looking like Punky Brewster.

There is no use of the bib for this kid, although it does drape nicely over the back of his high chair. 

His face does get cleaned after a meal, but other than that I can't guarantee anything.  And the five second rule has turned into the 30 second rule - wouldn't want to waste anything, would we?

I have five children now...who has time to be anal?!?!

Everyone Needs a Break Sometimes

Motherhood is wonderful.  I love it.  I wouldn't change anything about it.  I would have more children (shocking to many, I know!).  Of course it's hard and exhausting and constantly growing and stretching me, but it brings me such joy and fulfillment.  I truly am blessed.

All that being said...sometimes I just need a break. 

If you are a mother, you can relate.  There are just times when a short period of respite is needed.  This is the dictionary definition of respite - to relieve temporarily, especially from anything distressing or trying; give an interval of relief from.

An interval of relief from...yes, that is exactly what I feel I need sometimes.  And it's OK.  And it's normal.  And it's wise for me to get this relief so as to avoid any permanent harm to my lovely children.

So sometimes I stay in the shower much longer than needed just to enjoy the time to myself.  And sometimes it requires me plugging my ears to experience peace in the shower.

In those rare occasions that I am in the car alone, sometimes I will decide to take the long way home.

And usually when I'm in the car alone, I have the radio OFF.  Total silence is so appealing to me.

If I can pull off going to the grocery store all by myself, then I purposely go up and down every single aisle just to prolong the solitude.

There are times when I actually covet my husband's lengthy commutes because I think it sounds wonderful to spend 2-3 hours in a car all by myself. 

When I show up for a dentist appointment and she is behind schedule, I'm totally content with that because it allows me to sit and relax a bit longer.  Or I'm thankful there is a long line at the bank because I can just chill while I wait.

My husband can attest that there are times when I beg and plead for him to take the kids with him...even if it's just to fill up the gas tank, or return a movie.  Anything for ten minutes of peace and quiet.

I realize that I'm with my children more because I home school, but I know other mommas can relate because your children have Christmas break, Spring break and summer break! 

Motherhood is demanding.  Our job is not 8 hours a day, five days a week.  We work 24/7.  Our duties include (but are certainly not limited to) comforter, cook, maid, alarm clock, chauffeur, photographer,   nanny, nurse, teacher, handyman, counselor, ATM, security officer and jungle gym.  We don't get sick days, holidays, or paid time off.  We are always working.

I love it.

But everyone needs a break sometimes. 

I Need These Reminders

I have this list on my refrigerator so that I can look at it often.  I need to be reminded of these things several times a day as I attempt to discipline and train my children in a manner pleasing to the Lord.

1. You disobey the Lord and He is the perfect Father.

He is patient, loving, forgiving, compassionate, gentle, kind and self-controlled toward me when I disobey Him.  He does not scream at me, lecture me, hold a grudge, lose his temper, say harsh things, or withhold love as I so often tend to do with my own children.

2. His kindness leads us to repentance.

I desire to repent of my disobedience because He is patient, loving, forgiving, compassionate, gentle, kind and self-controlled towards me.  So in my parenting, I must model His parenting so that my children will desire repentance and understand why it is necessary.  And I must keep in mind that harshness and dictatorship is not going to encourage my children to admit and accept their sin, or to repent.

3. God disciplines those He loves.

There are consequences for my actions and my sin, so I can expect that my loving Father will discipline me because He loves me.  In this same way, I discipline my children because I love them and want to teach them right from wrong.  This can be a struggle for me because it's much easier for me to overlook rather then take the time to discipline, correct, explain and reconcile.

4. Your child's disobedience does not measure your value any more than their obedience showcases your achievement.

My children will never be perfect (and sadly I seem to forget this at times because it's like I expect perfection).  They will disobey and this does not define me as a mother.  On the flip side, when they do obey it does not mean that I've got it all figured out.  It is all by the grace of God.

5. Your child's disobedience teaches you dependence on God.

There is nothing else in my life that requires as much dependence on God as parenting does.  It is a daily battle, sometimes an hour by hour battle, and I just can't do it in my own strength...especially not in a God-glorifying way.  As any mother can attest, it is exhausting (and I don't just mean physically!!).

6. And sometimes it's more than dependence He's after; it's complete desperation for Him.

"Complete desperation" is a much better description of the way I function as a mother each day rather than just "dependence on."  I do depend on Him, but in a completely desperate way.  How else could I make it through each day?

7. Your child is clearly a sinner, and needs to hear the truth of the Gospel, and see it lived out through you.

The "lived out through you" phrase is what I am constantly reminding myself of!  There are five pairs of eyes that are constantly watching me and my actions are what communicate a message to them more than any words I can ever say.

8. Times of correction serve to remind, or establish within your child, his own sense of need for a Savior.

We are all sinners.  We all fall short.  We all need a Savior.

9. It's not good behavior you really desire...you want their heart.

We didn't understand this for many years.  The hearts of our children weren't really our focus, it was the outward stuff we were after I think.  I am thankful that our perspective has changed and that we understand how important it is to have their hearts and not just compliant children that fear us.

10. Your child is a person, not a project.

Ouch.  That's what I think when I read this...probably because I was treating my children like my projects for so many years.  I wanted them to make me look good.  I didn't like it when they disrupted my routine, or stability, or agenda.  But they are people ~ with souls.  My deepest desire is for them to know Jesus and fall in love with Him and be sold out for Him.  I want them to spend eternity with Him.

No Ordinary Day

Today seemed like it was going to be uneventful; just an ordinary day.  I was wrong. 

It was one of those days as a mother that pushed me to my limits and tested me over and over again. 

It was one of those rare days where there was an issue with every child ~ one pouting about chores, one whining about not getting her way, another arguing about every darn thing and yet another challenging me on every rule in place, and who can forget the toddler that is approaching two.  And this was all within the first two hours...these types of things just kept happening...all...day...long.

My patience was tested.

My nerves were fried.

My buttons were pushed.

Yet as I sit here in the late night hours with a completely quiet house and reflect on this challenging day, I am thankful.  I survived.  We made it through.  All children are still living.  And I love being a mommy, bottom line.

I didn't handle things perfectly.  I lost my temper.  I was insensitive.  I argued back.  I was unfair.  I ignored and withheld eye contact. 

But I know tomorrow is a new day; a fresh start.  And for that I am thankful because all seven of us living under this roof need a fresh start each morning.  So I go to bed knowing that I must wake up with a positive outlook and ready to extend grace to my children and to myself, regardless of how agitated I felt today or how frustrated I feel tonight.

For the sole reason that my God does this very same thing for me each and every morning. 

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
    Lamentations 3:22-23