8 months old today

I just can't believe Aaron is eight months old already! He has just learned to clap in the last couple of days, as you can tell by the picture. He has also started working on his crawling techniques. He gets up on his hands and tippy toes as if he is going to do something, then collapses like he's so exhausted. We just laugh. He is still nursing and we have tried rice cereal which he threw up several times, so I tried oatmeal and he won't swallow that, spits it out and cries. Go figure...all my other babies loved cereal and he hates it! Amazing how each child is so unique. We may just go right to veggies.

I've been thinking back to the difficulty Aaron had when he was born, having surgery at ten days old and spending two weeks in the NICU. I am so thankful that God saw us through those hard times. I look at Aaron with all his chub and rolls and feel truly blessed that his problem was an easy fix and he is thriving now.

Many people wondered how Jay and I got through those scary/emotional first few weeks of Aaron's life and we give all the glory to God for sustaining us. Sure we were scared, but the underlying sense of peace we felt was amazing. Neither of us had ever experienced anything like that before. The power of prayer was intense! There were so many people praying for Aaron and us and we were in awe everyday at how much those prayers were getting us through. So thank you to all those who prayed and passed our prayer requests along to others.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible was very applicable during those first few weeks of Aaron's life: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Priorities

A friend of mine checked out my blog and emailed to ask me how in the world I find time to sit down and write it. I had to laugh at her email because she only has three kids (one of which is a newborn) and she commented on how she can barely get a shower in most days. Believe me, I'm right there with her!

What I've found is that everyday is all about priorities. Do I wake up early to do Bible study, or sleep in until my kids wake up? Do I wash the dishes, or read aloud to my kids? Do I brush my girls' hair, or do devotions with the kids? Do I fold the laundry and put it away, or do I play a game of Memory with Gracie? Do I make my bed, or snuggle with Aaron for a few minutes? Of course the list goes on and on.

Before I had children, I was very anal and neat. Our bed was always made. Dishes were always done. Counters were always spotless and empty. Piles were non-existent in my home. I was quite organized, in fact I filed everything and kept those files in chronological order and up to date. Then came the children...and initially I tried very hard to keep all the balls in the air.

Most days our bed isn't made. There are always dishes in our sink, especially because we are home most days to home school. Much to my dismay, there are piles all over my counters. I file from time to time, but they are nothing like they used to be. Dusting and vacuuming are a rare occurrence around here.

My priorities have clearly changed. I think ahead five...ten years and realize that it won't matter if my bed was made every single day or if my files were current and my house was immaculate. What will matter is the heart condition of my children. What will matter is their relationships with God, each other and with us. What will matter is their memories of childhood.

As I was writing this post I kept thinking of the words to a song...you may know it. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you, Allelu, Alleluia." And I recall that there is a verse somewhere in the Bible about putting God first and then He will make all the other things fall into place. Sorry I can't quote the exact verse...I'm not good at pulling that stuff from memory (I also rely heavily on the tabs of my Bible to figure out where all the books are).

One of my favorite home school speakers (Carole Joy Seid) has a saying that I love and it goes like this, "It is more important to make sure our children get into Heaven, than Harvard." There is so much truth to that! And as you can tell by my picture, putting away laundry has not been a priority this last week...those are all clean clothes, about five loads I think, and the sad thing is there is another load on our bed. And the bag is full of clean clothes from our trip to Arrowhead last weekend. So glad it's the weekend tomorrow...

Way of Thinking

Do you ever have those moments when you ask yourself why in the world God has allowed you to be a parent? I do! When I lose my temper, when I make a bad choice as it relates to my children, when they aren't being kind to one another (and their behavior is mirroring mine...ouch!!). It can be discouraging for me and I am very good at giving myself guilt trips.

Then there are those amazing, sweet, precious times where my children will do things that just melt my heart and all that guilt and doubt go away because I can see their love for each other and their bonds forming as siblings and the fun childhood memories they are creating. This picture was one of those moments where they randomly decided to have a picnic on the front lawn. There was no prompting or suggestion from me, it was just the four of them and it brought me so much happiness (not to mention of course a quiet house for awhile).

I am trying hard to change the way I think, to get control of my thoughts and align them with the Lord, but man is it hard! I want my way of thinking to be His way of thinking. I was reminded of this in my Bible study this week through a verse from Romans: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

Super Mom

This may come as a shock to many of you (LOL), but I am not Super Mom! I guess because we have five kids and I home school, people think I've got it all together. Being referred to as a Super Mom actually makes me insecure because I know nothing could be further from the truth. Just ask my kids or my hubby...

I am very anal and my husband has been known to tease me about being OCD. More often than not, I am uptight. Sadly, my family does not look forward to us having company because it means Mom is on a rampage and we must make the house look as if we don't live in it. My family can't understand why I'm more concerned with cleaning and picking up than sitting down with all of them to watch a movie.

I have a temper (sad to admit) and yelling is a common occurrence in my home. My tongue and my eyes are my biggest enemy; I often lack self-control when I speak to my kids and the looks I give sometimes...well, you've heard the saying "if looks could kill." I show favoritism towards my kids, different ones at different times. I'm constantly struggling with how to meet all their needs and ensure that one isn't feeling left out, or being overlooked.

My children have gaps in their education, in fact most school days are not rich and full of learning as I would hope. Mostly I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water. If we can get devotions, Bible study, math and reading done then it's been a fabulous success of a school day in my opinion! I often think about how much easier it was being a classroom teacher than homeschooling my own children. My husband just can't understand that concept.

All this being said, I am so thankful that God extends so much grace and mercy to me! I am humbled when I think about how patient He is with me and how many times I have made the same mistakes. My heart's desire is that my thoughts and actions will be obedient to Christ. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers," and that is what I have to continually remind myself of on a daily basis...especially when it comes to my own children and my husband!!

So, I may not be a Super Mom (sigh), but that is okay because what I'm really trying to be is a Mommy that is full of the Holy Spirit and bearing much fruit...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Motherhood

If I had a dollar for every time someone made a comment about how many children I have, I would be sittin' pretty right now! Come on...I only have five kids, what's the big deal? That is what my response might be from now on. I love my life and I would not trade it for anything. Having said that, most days are unorganized, emotional, loud and exhausting, but I consider myself extremely blessed and love being a mother.

I chuckle when people ask me how I do it because the answer seems so obvious to me...by the grace of God! I mean really, how else could I deal with five children day in and day out while maintaining my own sanity? I rely on strength and guidance from the Lord because frankly I would be a miserable failure if I went at this on my own. I have learned to rely on God for everything, every aspect of my day, and entrust my kiddos to His care because me, myself and I...we always fall short.

One crucial aspect of my day, and the key piece to me maintaining my sanity all day long, is some quiet/alone time in the morning. If I can get up before the kids, get my coffee and sit down with my devotional books, my Bible study and my prayer journal then I know the day will be better. I didn't say the day would be good because not all days are "good" just because I get my alone time with the Lord. But you know what? There certainly is a HUGE difference to my days when I do get that quiet time because I feel more at peace and am in touch with God. Even if it's the worst day of all, I feel Him battling through it with me. I wish I could say this was a guaranteed thing every single morning, but of course there are mornings where I'm lazy and want to sleep more, or some mornings a tiny person wakes up before me (that's always fun!).

Motherhood has proven to be such an adventure. I mean just over the few days I was trying to create this blog it was chaos around here. Granted, we were all sick, but it was crazy. Emmie drew all over her hands one day...I think she was using Sharpies. Aaron pooped and it got all over his back and it ended up on his shoulders, arms and the carpet. The older kids watched at least four or five movies to pass the time while being sick. Not sure how many boxes of tissues we went through and how much snot was all over the pillows and beds. Ick! But we survived and are all mostly healthy now.

There are many days that my kids might not brush their teeth. Lots of days my girls don't get their hair done. Plenty of days my boys choose to wear the same outfit as the day (or days) before. My husband doesn't always get home cooked meals. Our home is not spotless and dishes are always in the sink. But if there is one thing I have come to terms with, it's this: relationships (with God and each other) are more important than bad breath, a spotless house, elaborate dinners every night, or making the beds each day.