Just waiting...

Due date is two days away and no action yet.  Well, lots of action actually, but none that's doing anything worthwhile.  So we wait and we anticipate.  And of course we continue to look at the list of names in hopes that one might jump out at us - no luck yet.

Emmie is so anxious!  She just keeps asking when and is bothered that the doctor can't give us an exact date and time.  She did say to me yesterday that God is the only one who knows because he made my stomach. 

Aaron attempting a heart on my tummy like his sisters did.

Brendan assembled the swing and vibrating seat for me.  He and Jaylon did the stroller together.

Last picture for Gramma Dedee and her 5 grandchildren.  Next picture she'll be surrounded by 6!!

Us trying to be cute and form a heart on my belly, but the kids all said it looked lame.  We tried.

Gracie playing "mommy" with her baby doll in a Moby Wrap.

The girls had a baby shower for Gracie.  So funny to watch them play and mimic real life. 


We are all excited and ready!!!  Now all we need is a baby girl and a name.

The B-I-B-L-E

My girls came home recently and had been encouraged to memorize the books of the Bible for Sunday school.  We got right to work learning the catchy little songs and even the boys joined in.  I vaguely recall learning those songs as a child in Sunday school.  But what struck me was how clueless I had become as an adult when it came to the Bible. 

I certainly didn't know the books of the Bible by heart.  No wonder it had always been a challenge for me to look something up.  I either flipped around a lot until I found what I was looking for, or better yet, would go right to the Table of Contents for help.  Ultimately what I realized was that I didn't know the Bible because I rarely, if ever, used to read the Bible.  I never even took my Bible to church with me and on the rare occasion that I did, I used it as something to press on as I filled in the pastor's outline.  As I continued to learn the songs with my kids, I found myself reflecting more and more on these sad realities.

About four and a half years ago I joined a woman's Bible study.  We met each week and we studied the book of Matthew.  I remember wondering how on earth we were going to spend nine months studying one book!  As I look back now, that was the turning point for me.  Opening up the Word of God, studying it in depth, memorizing it, discussing it within a group, but most importantly the format was such that I was to be in the Word every day of the week.  This is where the Lord began to work mightily in my heart.

Then about a year and a half ago we came to a new church.  The two previous churches we had attended left both of us longing for something more.  We weren't sure what, but both of us had that sense of something missing.  From the very first Sunday at this new church our world was rocked.  Never in our lives had either of us heard the exposition of Scripture in that way.  We had never studied it that way or applied it to our lives the way the pastor did.  Everything centered on the Word of God.  And to our amazement everyone in attendance brought their Bibles with them each week...and actually opened them up as the pastor taught.  What a concept.

Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts.
                                                                                 Colossians 3:16

As we continued to attend and get connected, we were challenged to examine our lives and ask ourselves ~ Did Scripture permeate every aspect of our lives?

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.                                                              Hebrews 4:12

So as I have reflected back on all of these events, the Lord has reminded me how crucial the Word of God is. It must rule in my life. Everything I need is in the Bible and through His Word, He will equip me for anything that life may bring. It is how I have grown, and will continue to grow, spiritually.

...you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe.                                    1 Thessalonians 2:13

So how can those of us who believe and call ourselves Christians grow and experience the working of God in our hearts and lives without being in the Word consistently?  I am reminded how crucial it is to open up the Word of God, read it, study it, meditate on it, memorize it, talk about it and journal through it.  And my prayer is that it will saturate my thoughts and words and actions. 

God has provided everything we need in His Word and sadly, there are so many that neglect It.

There was something crucial that I left out of my last post, Desires for a New Year, and someone lovingly and graciously brought it to my attention. 

My main goal for 2012 is still to live each day in total dependence on God and keep Him as my number one priority, but in my list of "typical resolutions" that I mentioned, I left out the most important thing.

My marriage.  My role as a wife.  After God, the next priority in my life should be my husband and my marriage. 

I have been thinking and praying a lot about this omission for the last few days.  I had to ask myself a couple difficult questions - After the Lord, is Jay my next priority?  Are my children idols in my life? 

The conclusion I reached is that this omission revealed my heart.  I confess, I do not place my husband and our marriage as second priority in my life.  And sadly, it is common for my marriage and my husband to be further down on the list than even priority number three.  Actually, this is something the Lord has been revealing to me over and over again the last several months.

This is not how God designed it.  There is nothing more important that I could resolve to do than give priority to my marriage and my husband above my children, above following a budget, above losing weight, above getting organized. 

I must make constant and earnest efforts to make sure Jay knows he matters more than the kids.  Here is the definition of earnest: serious in intention, purpose, or effort. 

...and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband, notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, defers to him, praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly.           Ephesians 5:33 (Amplified Bible)

This verse from this particular version, is jam-packed and I will be the first to admit that I do not treat my husband this way.  I love this verse though because it provides such a detailed description of what God intended and what I must aim for.

There were a few other questions that I've been asking myself this week ~ Am I bringing God glory and putting Christ on display in my marriage?  What are my children seeing in my marriage?  What am I teaching them about how a marriage (and a family) functions?  Do I build my husband up to them and in front of them?

I have been convicted this week in asking myself these questions.  The Lord has been faithful to show me that I have a lot of work to do in this area.  There are no valid excuses for ignoring God's structure.  I can't say it's just a season, or my husband is a jerk, or I'm just too tired.  I have made all these excuses and then some.  Having my priorities out of whack is detrimental to my relationship with God, as well as my relationship with my husband. 

All the more reason I must seek Him first and live dependently on Him day in and day out.  I cannot be the wife I was created to be in my own strength or apart from Him.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. 
   Matthew 6:33

Desires for the New Year

As is so common in the beginning of a New Year, I have been reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to 2012.  Of course the typical "resolutions" popped into my mind ~ lose weight, stick to a budget, have more patience with my children, get more organized.  Then it hit me...no matter what I resolve to do, I will not be able to succeed on my own.

The most important goal I can set at the beginning of this New Year is to live each day in total dependence on God.  I must put Him as my number one priority.  I must look to Him as I strive to lose weight and get healthy, as I struggle to stick to our budget, as I attempt to parent with more grace and patience, and as I try to keep myself more organized.

The best way for me to be purposeful about living dependently on Him is to start each day alone with Him and in His Word.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Psalm 119:105

I can't see very well in the dark.

To wake up before the kids, sit down with my coffee, my Bible and my journal and spend time with Him in His Word.  Not just stumble out of bed and read a quick little devotional, but actually set aside a chunk of time and dive into the Word of God - the Bible. 

After all, it is a relationship that I am to have with God and how can I maintain a relationship with someone whom I never spend time with?  Or who I spend time with sporadically?  And how else will I be able to draw closer to Him and hear from Him if I am not immersing myself in His Word? 

And now I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.     Acts 20:32

...the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe. 1 Thessalonians 2:13

The only way I am going to grow spiritually and become more like Christ is if I am saturating myself in the Word of God.  The only way I will be able to live dependently on Him in all areas of my life is if I am familiar with the truths found in the Bible.  The only way for me to ensure that He is the number one priority in my life is to start each day with Him, as well as go through each day mindful of what His Son did for me on the Cross and the grace that He has shown me. 

...like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation...         1 Peter 2:2

My desire is to crave the Word like a baby craves milk; to seek the truth in God's Word alone.  I want to be in the Word and allow God to work in my life through His Word.

I know I will not do this perfectly.  I will have days that I don't wake up early enough, or don't feel like it, or those lovely days where I'm focused and in the Word before the kids get up and then as soon as they come downstairs it's as if I've forgotten everything I've read and meditated on that morning. 

And it is at these times that I can remind myself of Romans 8:1 ~ Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  I am never going to be perfect this side of heaven, so I can stop trying to be and stop beating myself up when I fall short.

And so I share these things here so that those close to me might hold me accountable and also that maybe it will challenge or encourage you in this area as well.

Happy New Year!