I was feeling particularly frustrated the other night by my inability to complete the tasks that needed to be done. I was lying in bed thinking about the dirty clothes piled up in my closet, the stack of unopened mail on the kitchen counter, the pile of clean clothes on the floor of my room needing to be put away, the messy rooms of my children, my empty pantry/refrigerator, the ever-present "piles" on my desk ~ and these were just the domestic tasks that were hanging over my head.
I was feeling weighed down and anxious.
The next wave of thoughts that swept over me pertained to homeschooling ~ we hadn't finished the science reading for the week, I really should have them memorize more scripture verses, the boys were behind on their math lessons, Gracie hadn't practiced her sight words enough, I needed to spend more time on devotions with the kids, maybe the neighbor kids were smarter than my kids and better off for being in school.
Why do my thoughts always tend to go towards things that are wrong? Why do I allow myself to feel like a failure? All I could think about was how can I better pull off this balancing act in my life?
I was very encouraged by a devotional I read not long after about practicing the Presence of God rather than the presence of problems. It was such a great reminder that I cannot maintain the balancing act of life on my own. I am not able to accomplish anything apart from God. He is the One who gets me through. I can go to Him when I am feeling overwhelmed by failure or problems or exhaustion.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Prayerfully, I can rely on God to transform my thoughts and change my perspective.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139:23-24
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16
"Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
October 31, 2010
October 27, 2010
16 Months Old
It's official...Aaron is a toddler, a big boy, no longer a baby. How sad. His shoes, his clothes, his actions. Lots of milestones this month! He is so happy. Loves to laugh, even covers his mouth sometimes when he laughs. He is definitely a character. He likes to play with anything that has wheels ~ Spiderman motorcycle, Matchbox cars, Tonka truck...or even the Barbie carriage or the Little People bus. And at some point in the last few weeks his four molars came through (kid #5 so the exact dates of each tooth goes unnoticed). Still sleeping in our bed...still nursing. Likes to dance when he hears music. Wants to draw with paper/crayon whenever he sees other kids doing school.
Cheesin' for the camera. These jeans make him look like such a big boy.
A boy after his brothers' own hearts, he loves skateboards! He even tries to get on standing up!
A new obsession with animals this month. He was fascinated by this stray cat in our casita.
Big boy in his car seat after a long day of fun!
Playing outside with the boys...his favorite thing to do. Every time he hears a door open he goes running to see if he can get outside.
This child loves to eat fruit, any type, but of course all on his own! He is coming into that phase of wanting to do things all by himself.
Had a fun visit from Papa Gary this month! They had so much fun, but the favorite part was watching Survivor together, just the two of them, and playing with a box of granola bars.
After a long day at the LA County Fair with Grandma Dedee.
He loves ice! He comes running when he hears me getting ice for my water bottle. He used to help me put it in, but then that turned into him stealing a piece and running away so he could lick it and suck on it. It's a big game now! :-)
Laughing at himself for stealing the ice from me...he's a stinker.
Cheesin' for the camera. These jeans make him look like such a big boy. 
A boy after his brothers' own hearts, he loves skateboards! He even tries to get on standing up!
A new obsession with animals this month. He was fascinated by this stray cat in our casita.
Big boy in his car seat after a long day of fun!
Playing outside with the boys...his favorite thing to do. Every time he hears a door open he goes running to see if he can get outside. 
This child loves to eat fruit, any type, but of course all on his own! He is coming into that phase of wanting to do things all by himself. 
Had a fun visit from Papa Gary this month! They had so much fun, but the favorite part was watching Survivor together, just the two of them, and playing with a box of granola bars.
After a long day at the LA County Fair with Grandma Dedee.
He loves ice! He comes running when he hears me getting ice for my water bottle. He used to help me put it in, but then that turned into him stealing a piece and running away so he could lick it and suck on it. It's a big game now! :-)
Laughing at himself for stealing the ice from me...he's a stinker. October 17, 2010
Struggling with Priorities
What happened to the days when my bed was made every morning, there was never a single dish left in my sink when I went to bed, the family room was perfectly in order when I woke up in the morning and the bathroom mirrors never had water spots (let alone toothpaste or spit!!) on them???
Oh yeah...that was my life before kids.
To those of you who have known me for many years, you can recall the days of OCD cleaning, not an item out of place and coasters on "grandpa's table". God must have a sense of humor because I have two children that are slobs and can't pick things up to save their lives, one that is a stuffer (under his bed, pillow, in his drawer or closet, in all his pockets) and one that just leaves her things any and everywhere she pleases. The verdict is still out on Aaron.
The Lord has really worked on me because there is just not the time in a day for me to make my house so clean that it looks like we don't actually live in it. I had to give up control, which is such a challenge for me! Over the last few years I've had seasons where cleaning came before my job, where cleaning came before homeschooling, where cleaning came before the needs of my husband and children. Thankfully it isn't quite that bad anymore, but I'm still battling.
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit down and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar." Psalm 139:1-2
So I pray daily for the strength to focus on the right priorities in my life. I pray for humility so that if my house is dirty and friends come over, I won't care. I pray for patience in dealing with my children whose cleanliness standards conflict with mine. And I pray for acceptance of the fact that my bed may not get made, or my husband may be wearing the same pair of jeans again, or the dishes may pile up for two whole days before getting washed, or my kids may be wearing their underwear inside out!
"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8
And I am learning to willingly accept that I may have to break up a fight instead of sweeping, or nurse a baby instead of folding the laundry, or put a band aid on instead of drying dishes, or sit and talk with my husband instead of picking up the family room. And in the long run, what is going to matter more?
Oh yeah...that was my life before kids.
To those of you who have known me for many years, you can recall the days of OCD cleaning, not an item out of place and coasters on "grandpa's table". God must have a sense of humor because I have two children that are slobs and can't pick things up to save their lives, one that is a stuffer (under his bed, pillow, in his drawer or closet, in all his pockets) and one that just leaves her things any and everywhere she pleases. The verdict is still out on Aaron.
The Lord has really worked on me because there is just not the time in a day for me to make my house so clean that it looks like we don't actually live in it. I had to give up control, which is such a challenge for me! Over the last few years I've had seasons where cleaning came before my job, where cleaning came before homeschooling, where cleaning came before the needs of my husband and children. Thankfully it isn't quite that bad anymore, but I'm still battling.
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit down and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar." Psalm 139:1-2
So I pray daily for the strength to focus on the right priorities in my life. I pray for humility so that if my house is dirty and friends come over, I won't care. I pray for patience in dealing with my children whose cleanliness standards conflict with mine. And I pray for acceptance of the fact that my bed may not get made, or my husband may be wearing the same pair of jeans again, or the dishes may pile up for two whole days before getting washed, or my kids may be wearing their underwear inside out!
"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8
And I am learning to willingly accept that I may have to break up a fight instead of sweeping, or nurse a baby instead of folding the laundry, or put a band aid on instead of drying dishes, or sit and talk with my husband instead of picking up the family room. And in the long run, what is going to matter more?
October 9, 2010
Oh Happy Day!
I have joy in my heart tonight because I had one of those very special mommy moments that brought tears to my eyes.
My sweet little Gracie (soon to be 7) informed me today that she had just prayed and asked the Lord into her heart. She said she asked Him to forgive her for all of her sins and to live in her heart. It was precious. After I found my voice and expressed my happiness, we prayed together about it.
This is my first experience with one of my children accepting the Lord...with me being present. Jaylon and Brendan both did it at a church event. So this was special for me today.
She said that He had been wanting her to do it for awhile, but today she finally felt ready to pray the prayer and ask Him.
Thank you Heavenly Father! What a moment - and to think, He is more pleased about it than I am.
My sweet little Gracie (soon to be 7) informed me today that she had just prayed and asked the Lord into her heart. She said she asked Him to forgive her for all of her sins and to live in her heart. It was precious. After I found my voice and expressed my happiness, we prayed together about it.
This is my first experience with one of my children accepting the Lord...with me being present. Jaylon and Brendan both did it at a church event. So this was special for me today.
She said that He had been wanting her to do it for awhile, but today she finally felt ready to pray the prayer and ask Him.
Thank you Heavenly Father! What a moment - and to think, He is more pleased about it than I am.
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