I Once Was Lost...

The term lukewarm Christian was not descriptive of my life as a Christian...or so I thought.

I was raised in a Christian home.  I went to church (Sunday school and youth group) and actually my mom worked for the senior pastor, so we spent a lot of time at and in church.  I sang in the choir.  I memorized the books of the Bible and attended Christian concerts.  I even went on two mission trips to Haiti as a teenager. 

During my college years and early twenties I was distant from God and totally living life for myself, but I still referred to myself as a Christian. 

Once I got married and began having children I made a conscious effort to get myself back on track with God...or so I thought.
                                                                                                                                                                                            I would sporadically attend church, all the while listening to the sermons and thinking of how applicable they were to other people.  My Bible reading consisted of one or two verses on the sermon notes, or an occasional forwarded email.  I didn't even take my Bible to church on Sundays.  I rarely sang the worship songs at church because they made me too emotional.  I would tell people that I'd pray for them, but never get around to it.  I would proclaim that God was in control when others were struggling, but didn't live my own life as if that was Truth.

I was not walking the walk.  I ineffectively attempted to talk the talk.  My marriage and family was suffering.  My language and habits reflected this.  I had too many balls in the air.  Life was too busy and I was being stubborn and selfish trying to maintain control of it all.  I was constantly discouraged in my weakness and sin, but was so comfortable that I wasn't motivated to change.  I was not making Jesus the Lord of my life.  I did not aim to please Him in all things. 

In reality what I was doing was altering Christianity to how I wanted it to look.  I was taking Jesus and the gospel and tweaking it so I was more comfortable in my faith.  It was all about me.  My values and ideas were tainted by the world and our culture.  In many areas of my life there was a lot of gray. 

Thankfully, a few years ago, the Lord began to draw me back to Him.  He began to work on my heart.

Over the last few months my eyes have really been opened to a deeper understanding of what it means to truly be a Christian, to follow Christ, to live my life centered around the gospel. 

I was a lukewarm Christian for most of my life.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.  So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.     Revelation 3:15-16

Thirty-six

It's funny how as you get older birthdays don't carry the same weight or excitement as they once did. Turning thirty-six today doesn't really feel like anything. Today was pretty much the same as most others, other than extra phone calls and texts for birthday wishes from those near and dear to me.

It started with a co-sleeping baby boy waking me up to nurse, at which point I realized that I still had a stuffy nose and sore throat from the bug I caught from my precious darlings. Then it progressed to a little girl begging for cereal. And then onto siblings arguing and provoking each other. Mixed in with the normal morning routine were lots of birthday wishes, kisses, hugs, beautiful cards and wonderful gifts. Then it was the usual rush to get out the door and be on time for Bible study.

The day is almost over and there were no balloons or streamers, no loud singing or big party - nothing like when I was 9 and spent days looking forward to the slumber party with my friends.

Today was much more than that.

To enjoy time with my husband who worked from home today so he could be here when I woke up. To treasure my children even though they may leave their clothes all over the floor. To comfort my fussy baby who is teething. To hear from family members whom I love and dear friends that mean so much to me.

This day, my thirty-sixth birthday, was a day to celebrate the life that God has given to me. What more could I ask for?

Parenting

Most parents have heard the statement, "Children don't come with instruction manuals." Well, I for one, sure wish they did!

The Bible contains everything I need to be the parent God calls me to be. I just haven't accessed it or relied on it as I should have been all this time.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. Proverbs 23:13-14


Save their souls from death...that is a powerful thought. As a mother, I have a huge responsibility according to this verse! It caused me to question my motives for discipline and correction.


Do I discipline out of anger and lack of patience, or because I want to raise them to please God and bring them to the feet of Jesus? Do I correct them out of embarrassment and annoyance, or because I want to bring them into a submissive relationship with the Lord? Do I discipline out of my need/desire for control, or to encourage them to be obedient disciples of God?

I'll be honest, more often than not, I discipline out of anger. I frequently lose my patience and feel annoyed by my children. I am inconsistent. I do not require instant obedience. I let too much slide. It is not uncommon for un-encouraging words to fly out of my mouth, even a choice curse word now and then. This is not discipline or correction, this is punishment.


Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18


Discipline is a result of love and offers hope. Punishment offers no hope to my children. I only have so many years to impact them and gain their hearts. I want that impact to be positive and have eternal benefits!!


Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6


I never thought about the fact that if my children receive no discipline, or even inconsistent discipline, when they grow up they will struggle with disciplining themselves as adults. They will struggle with submitting to authority and ultimately with submission to God.


He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24


I must never forget that my children (as precious and adorable as they may be) are sinners from the very start, exactly like me. Just because we are raising them in a loving, Christian home does not guarantee anything.


Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15


Each one of my children are gifts from God. I am a steward of them and I only have authority over them because God has given them to me. I must submit to His authority when it comes to raising my children.


Sons are a heritage from the Lord; children a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3


Thankfully I serve a God of grace and mercy because I've had it wrong all these years. I allow my emotions to control me. I lash out at them. I nag and provoke. I am inconsistent. Honestly, I can be a bit of a tyrant sometimes. That is not Biblical discipline.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Biblical parenting is hard work. It takes effort. It causes me to be on my knees more than anything else. And the way I pray for my children has changed. I must set a different example. Error and failure are guaranteed, but that will allow me plenty of opportunities to model repentance to my children - apologize when I'm wrong and ask forgiveness. I must stop being a hypocrite and expecting my children to "do as I say, not as I do."

This is the book that transformed my understanding of Biblical parenting. It contains much truth and was a wake-up call for me as a Christian parent!