I Once Was Lost...

The term lukewarm Christian was not descriptive of my life as a Christian...or so I thought.

I was raised in a Christian home.  I went to church (Sunday school and youth group) and actually my mom worked for the senior pastor, so we spent a lot of time at and in church.  I sang in the choir.  I memorized the books of the Bible and attended Christian concerts.  I even went on two mission trips to Haiti as a teenager. 

During my college years and early twenties I was distant from God and totally living life for myself, but I still referred to myself as a Christian. 

Once I got married and began having children I made a conscious effort to get myself back on track with God...or so I thought.
                                                                                                                                                                                            I would sporadically attend church, all the while listening to the sermons and thinking of how applicable they were to other people.  My Bible reading consisted of one or two verses on the sermon notes, or an occasional forwarded email.  I didn't even take my Bible to church on Sundays.  I rarely sang the worship songs at church because they made me too emotional.  I would tell people that I'd pray for them, but never get around to it.  I would proclaim that God was in control when others were struggling, but didn't live my own life as if that was Truth.

I was not walking the walk.  I ineffectively attempted to talk the talk.  My marriage and family was suffering.  My language and habits reflected this.  I had too many balls in the air.  Life was too busy and I was being stubborn and selfish trying to maintain control of it all.  I was constantly discouraged in my weakness and sin, but was so comfortable that I wasn't motivated to change.  I was not making Jesus the Lord of my life.  I did not aim to please Him in all things. 

In reality what I was doing was altering Christianity to how I wanted it to look.  I was taking Jesus and the gospel and tweaking it so I was more comfortable in my faith.  It was all about me.  My values and ideas were tainted by the world and our culture.  In many areas of my life there was a lot of gray. 

Thankfully, a few years ago, the Lord began to draw me back to Him.  He began to work on my heart.

Over the last few months my eyes have really been opened to a deeper understanding of what it means to truly be a Christian, to follow Christ, to live my life centered around the gospel. 

I was a lukewarm Christian for most of my life.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.  So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.     Revelation 3:15-16