Sometimes I daydream and think about how much easier it would be to be a lazy parent, just let my kids do and say whatever. Sit on my couch eating Bon Bons watching the soaps while the kids just run a muck. Is that bad to admit?
I don't know if it's the disgusting heat, or the fact that we're moving, or my lack of sleep, but this has been a rough week. I feel like lining them all up and screaming, "Can't we all just get along!?!"
I had this epiphany about how much work good....quality.... Christ-centered parenting really is. It is exhausting sometimes - trying to instill in them a love for the Lord, teach them how to pray, model for them the importance of Bible study and quiet time with God, encourage them to have a servant's heart/attitude, be kind to each other, have patience with each other, not gossip, extend grace where it is needed, honor and obey Jay and I...the list goes on and on.
Then factor in the enemy and the intense battle that is raging for the hearts of my children and it really overwhelms me. The Internet, TV shows, commercials, movies, song lyrics, other children, magazines, people in public places, books...that list goes on and on too.
So what can I do but turn to the Father for help? Trust that He is protecting my children and remember that He loves them more than I do. Know that I'm not perfect and will make mistakes, but God's grace is enough. And understand that each of my children is a sinner just like me. They have free will, just like I do.
But I find hope and encouragement in what God's Word tells me:
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
Thankfully I'm not on my own when it comes to parenting! Now that's a relief.
July 16, 2010
July 15, 2010
Tapped Out Tonight
It's been a really long day...I'm venting to my blog.
The temperature reading in my car showed 105.
My husband worked his usual hours, leaving the house about 5:45 this morning, but he is still out working on some freeway because the lane can only be shut down in the middle of the night. He'll get off about 3 or 4 and drive home...fabulous, I know.
I always have so much empathy for single mothers on these types of days. No mental relief about 6:00 when Daddy walks in. That's tough!
Children are such a blessing. They bring joy. They cause my heart to overflow, my head to hurt and my blood pressure to rise. They each have their own issues and for some reason today it struck me how many things I'm dealing with in their various lives. Such a wide array...
Aaron - the big 1 year old. More independent, but still wants mommy. Walking along things, taking a few steps between people maybe. More adventurous which produces more accidents. And the lovely separation anxiety stage...ahhh. Poor childcare workers at the gym love when he shows up to cry for 45 minutes.
Emmie - my almost 4 year old that acts like she is 14. She can't get enough of my lipstick and must always carry a purse. (Obviously didn't get that from me). Her new favorite phrase is, "I hate..." - fill in the blank and she does say it to people sometimes. So sweet, isn't she? Also struggling with the nap or no nap stage. She desperately still needs one, but never agrees with me on that issue.
Gracie - the toothless 6 year old (oh, sorry, six and a half). She loves to groan and say no to every request I place before her. Her struggle is learning how to pick up after herself and not create a mess in every single room in the house. And the statement she repeats often is that I don't love her as much as___, or I don't do that for her, or I don't react to her that way. Can we say middle child syndrome?
Brendan - watch out, he's 10, double digits now! And in his mind that really changed a lot for him. I didn't get that memo. This would be my son who is obsessed with knives and asks if he can subscribe to a magazine called Guns & Ammo. Spectacular. He can't tolerate crying, so if either of his sisters cries, or the baby, for too long he goes bonkers and immediately begins to instruct me on how to handle them and what disciplinary measures I must take to stop the said crying. And why does he insist on hanging around all the older teenagers in our neighborhood? Oh yeah, the older brother factor. Duh.
Jaylon - the "teenager". At 13 he has begun to really bless us with all the typical teenager stuff we have heard and read about. Wake up time has gotten a bit later. Friends are the only thing that dictates what he wants to do. There is a girl...she doesn't live far and happened to be hanging out in front of my house a few days ago. Why? Just walking, she said. As if! And the constant desire to check emails, when did that happen? His dream come true would be a cell phone. Not. I want to stay on top of things. I want to be aware, but my hope for that dwindled when he told me that one of his good friends is a tagger. I could have fallen over. Here I thought this kid was wonderful. I'm going to need to intensify my prayer life!!
Did I just have a rag session on my children? Maybe. Most of you probably don't deal with these types of issues since your children are lovely, respectful darlings.
I don't have it all together. If there is such a thing as Super Mom I'd love to meet her! I sure could use some input, maybe get her book, or read her blog.
At the end of weary days like this I am so glad that I have the Lord. He can give me input (and extra energy). He has a book I can read. And I love that even if all I can utter out at the end of the day is, "help me Lord to make it through another day" then that's good enough. Our God is so good and merciful!
The temperature reading in my car showed 105.
My husband worked his usual hours, leaving the house about 5:45 this morning, but he is still out working on some freeway because the lane can only be shut down in the middle of the night. He'll get off about 3 or 4 and drive home...fabulous, I know.
I always have so much empathy for single mothers on these types of days. No mental relief about 6:00 when Daddy walks in. That's tough!
Children are such a blessing. They bring joy. They cause my heart to overflow, my head to hurt and my blood pressure to rise. They each have their own issues and for some reason today it struck me how many things I'm dealing with in their various lives. Such a wide array...
Aaron - the big 1 year old. More independent, but still wants mommy. Walking along things, taking a few steps between people maybe. More adventurous which produces more accidents. And the lovely separation anxiety stage...ahhh. Poor childcare workers at the gym love when he shows up to cry for 45 minutes.
Emmie - my almost 4 year old that acts like she is 14. She can't get enough of my lipstick and must always carry a purse. (Obviously didn't get that from me). Her new favorite phrase is, "I hate..." - fill in the blank and she does say it to people sometimes. So sweet, isn't she? Also struggling with the nap or no nap stage. She desperately still needs one, but never agrees with me on that issue.
Gracie - the toothless 6 year old (oh, sorry, six and a half). She loves to groan and say no to every request I place before her. Her struggle is learning how to pick up after herself and not create a mess in every single room in the house. And the statement she repeats often is that I don't love her as much as___, or I don't do that for her, or I don't react to her that way. Can we say middle child syndrome?
Brendan - watch out, he's 10, double digits now! And in his mind that really changed a lot for him. I didn't get that memo. This would be my son who is obsessed with knives and asks if he can subscribe to a magazine called Guns & Ammo. Spectacular. He can't tolerate crying, so if either of his sisters cries, or the baby, for too long he goes bonkers and immediately begins to instruct me on how to handle them and what disciplinary measures I must take to stop the said crying. And why does he insist on hanging around all the older teenagers in our neighborhood? Oh yeah, the older brother factor. Duh.
Jaylon - the "teenager". At 13 he has begun to really bless us with all the typical teenager stuff we have heard and read about. Wake up time has gotten a bit later. Friends are the only thing that dictates what he wants to do. There is a girl...she doesn't live far and happened to be hanging out in front of my house a few days ago. Why? Just walking, she said. As if! And the constant desire to check emails, when did that happen? His dream come true would be a cell phone. Not. I want to stay on top of things. I want to be aware, but my hope for that dwindled when he told me that one of his good friends is a tagger. I could have fallen over. Here I thought this kid was wonderful. I'm going to need to intensify my prayer life!!
Did I just have a rag session on my children? Maybe. Most of you probably don't deal with these types of issues since your children are lovely, respectful darlings.
I don't have it all together. If there is such a thing as Super Mom I'd love to meet her! I sure could use some input, maybe get her book, or read her blog.
At the end of weary days like this I am so glad that I have the Lord. He can give me input (and extra energy). He has a book I can read. And I love that even if all I can utter out at the end of the day is, "help me Lord to make it through another day" then that's good enough. Our God is so good and merciful!
July 7, 2010
Looking Back
One year ago today Aaron had his surgery at Loma Linda and began his two week stay in the NICU.
You know it's funny because I was asked a question recently about whether or not as a mother I replay the events and timing of each child's birth every year as their birthday is approaching. To which I answered, absolutely yes! But for me, concerning Aaron, it was a bit different.
Of course as his First birthday approached I got sentimental and did think about what I was doing last year at that time, etc., etc. But as far as details and timing and what not...those memories weren't as vivid for me as the days that followed his birth.
So it is that I'm sitting her blogging about the day he had his surgery because it's the wee hours of July 6 and 7, 2009 that remain most vivid in my mind. Getting to the ER close to midnight and going through the motions to have various tests done and trying to stay awake all through the night. Watching him cry and root because he was so hungry and wanting to nurse. Curling up on the end of his hospital bed to pass out because I just couldn't do it anymore. Watching Michael Jackson's funeral on TV as we waited for the verdict on Aaron's diagnosis. (Crazy, I know!).
But God is so good. Looking back now I can see so clearly the Hand of God in all of it. The power of prayer was indescribable! The supernatural strength that the Lord provided to Jay and I. And the peace....that underlying sense of peace in the midst of a trial - how amazing to truly experience that.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
And to think that when I was pregnant I asked myself how it would be for child #5...would he be neglected in any way being in last place? Would he get less love? Heck, would I be able to expand my heart yet again and love him as much as the others?
Of course, I look at him now and just can not imagine our family without him!
This is what he would do every time he heard my voice. Those forehead wrinkles were my favorite. And the crossed eyes!
To finally hold him was pure satisfaction. It was torture only being able to rub his head.
Hard to imagine this is the same baby? At 23+ pounds with the nickname of "Chub Chub" he sure has come a long way. Our God is an awesome God!
You know it's funny because I was asked a question recently about whether or not as a mother I replay the events and timing of each child's birth every year as their birthday is approaching. To which I answered, absolutely yes! But for me, concerning Aaron, it was a bit different.
Of course as his First birthday approached I got sentimental and did think about what I was doing last year at that time, etc., etc. But as far as details and timing and what not...those memories weren't as vivid for me as the days that followed his birth.
So it is that I'm sitting her blogging about the day he had his surgery because it's the wee hours of July 6 and 7, 2009 that remain most vivid in my mind. Getting to the ER close to midnight and going through the motions to have various tests done and trying to stay awake all through the night. Watching him cry and root because he was so hungry and wanting to nurse. Curling up on the end of his hospital bed to pass out because I just couldn't do it anymore. Watching Michael Jackson's funeral on TV as we waited for the verdict on Aaron's diagnosis. (Crazy, I know!).
But God is so good. Looking back now I can see so clearly the Hand of God in all of it. The power of prayer was indescribable! The supernatural strength that the Lord provided to Jay and I. And the peace....that underlying sense of peace in the midst of a trial - how amazing to truly experience that.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
And to think that when I was pregnant I asked myself how it would be for child #5...would he be neglected in any way being in last place? Would he get less love? Heck, would I be able to expand my heart yet again and love him as much as the others?
Of course, I look at him now and just can not imagine our family without him!
This is what he would do every time he heard my voice. Those forehead wrinkles were my favorite. And the crossed eyes!
To finally hold him was pure satisfaction. It was torture only being able to rub his head.
He was so hungry and wanting to suck...all he got was this dumb pacifier, poor thing. And Daddy got stuck holding it in much of the time.
Hard to imagine this is the same baby? At 23+ pounds with the nickname of "Chub Chub" he sure has come a long way. Our God is an awesome God!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)